IPhone 5 “Shortage” Blasted By Inside Source

The iPhone 5 has topped 2 million pre-orders in its opening 24 hours. We all expected it, regardless of how “blown away” Apple claims to be. But now they’ve run out, so if you want one, you’re going to have to wait, probably 2 weeks or more.

For most, no part of that statement will appear out of the ordinary, why should it? It happens every year right? There is no anomaly to this process, so why should we think any differently? One man has a good reason why.

Known as “Dry Throat”, an inside source has revealed to The Register that Apple deliberately chose to withhold iPhone 5 production. Dry Throat claims to have high level access to the decision-making processes within Apple, and he claims to understand the circumstances dictating Apple’s marketing, a process he claims has lead to the shortage.

According to him, “Cook and all the top boys were worried” leading up to the iPhone 5′s launch. Gone are the days of “mass cult hysteria” forming around “the Grand High Warlock” Steve Jobs, instead, he claims that Apple have been left with “Mr Dull from Accounts”, presumably Tim Cook.

Without the “mass cult hysteria”, he claims the iPhone 5 would have struggled to sell, so Apple needed a different tactic.

Dry Throat claims that the iPhone 5 is a Samsung Galaxy, except twice the price, with bad battery life, no interchangeable battery, no expandable storage and no industry standard connector. He describes this as “uncontrollable greed”, I’m sure plenty of you agree.

So, if Dry Throat’s claims are true so far, how did the iPhone 5 sell?

“Don’t let anyone have many”…

According to him, Apple are using the exclusivity of the iPhone 5 as its USP. The scarcity of the device stops people thinking about its mediocrity and expense. Instead, people are being told “You can’t have this”.

“That way if you do get hold of one, you feel really pleased regardless of the fact it’s not much good. And if you can’t get one, you really want one. It’s so simple – but so effective.”

When this was challenged, he snubbed the accusation, in a rather humorous tone…

“Come off it, like they couldn’t have millions of the damn things ready in advance and just deliver them to the shops – of course they could, people do it all the time with normal products. But if you could just buy one straight off, it wouldn’t be special any more, would it? It’s not special in itself, it hasn’t got anything the others haven’t got…As for ‘shipping dates have moved back two weeks’, don’t make me laugh. They were probably sitting there in Cupertino saying ‘Huh, nobody’s buying it – move back shipping dates by a week, that’ll get things moving’. In reality there are probably warehouses stuffed full of the damn things all over the world. Sure, your iPhone ‘just left China’ … come on. It’s been sitting in a warehouse round the corner for a fortnight while you were shivering in the queue outside the Apple Store like a chump. There are Apple guys rubbing handfuls of iPhone 5s against their naked bodies, using them as paperweights, playing iPhone 5 Jenga…”

Jenga you say? When I first skimmed this article, I wasn’t really convinced. And now I am. Of course, Dry Throat may well be a narcotics addict, operating from an armchair in a bedsit above a taxi office in Hackney, but I don’t think that matters.

Regardless of where this man has obtained his information, it makes sense…The psychology is simple, and very plausible. The claims made about the iPhone 5′s mediocrity are also, somewhat plausible. The marketing technique, is genius. The consequences for Apple’s consumer relationship if this is true… not to be sniffed at.

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