The Weekly Moan: “I’m gonna sue your momma…”

I am getting increasingly frustrated at the fights between the major players in the smartphone market. Apple sues HTC, HTC sues them back, Nokia sues everybody — the list of lawsuits is longer than the queues expected at the iPhone 4G/HD release. In fact, it’s getting so ridiculous that I’m even considering suing all of them for infringing on my sanity rights. I would love it if somebody invented a time machine, so we could go back and inform Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison exactly what the world was in for when they invented the telephone.

So here’s the big question: When it’s all done and everybody’s finished filing complaints against each other what will be the main outcome?

a) Apple will have sued enough money out of everyone to be the only phone manufacturer left in the universe.

b) All the countersuits will even every company out, and the only people profiting will be the lawyers.

c) They will all live happily ever after.

I personally don’t understand what each manufacturer thinks it has, that is so unique to other devices. Is it because they make phone calls? Ooh, an onscreen lock switch! MULTITOUCH?? I realize Apple’s staked a claim with that, but even this wasn’t their idea. So what’s next? Gene Roddenberry’s estate suing Apple for ripping off Star Trek’s tricorder? Someone needs to tell them all to grow up and get on with the business at hand: innovation.

In this industry, when technology advances, everyone learns from each other. And they ALL try to outdo each other; that’s what healthy competition is all about. Do I sue my daughter because her eyes are the same as mine? No. Partly because she’s not old enough to hire a lawyer, but mostly because it is utterly stupid. (By the way, I think the correct answer above is ‘a.’ Steve Jobs will not be happy until he’s brought about his new world order for portable technology.)

If my daughter was this old, and I were Jobs, I'd sue her for looking like me....

Part of me wishes I hadn’t invested so much money in Apple. Blasphemy, right? (Especially considering who I write for.) Don’t get me wrong: I still believe these devices are good, reliable, sexy, fantastic… but the company’s actions outside of product manufacturing and design isn’t exactly inspiring.

Then it comes to light that Cupertino had a blogger’s house raided because ONE OF THEIR OWN GUYS LOST A TOP-SECRET PROTOTYPE AT A BAR. This still shocks me. Using law enforcement as a corporate weapon? This is low, even for Jobs. Everything, from this scenario to the litigious actions of this company, down to the self-righteous CEO himself, all makes me feel like I’ve aligned myself with Darth Vader.

Unable to stand behind an inspiring company that I believe in right now, I fervently hope these evil geniuses have some surprises up their sleeves when they announce the next-generation iPhone in a couple weeks (leaks notwithstanding). Will they bring forth something brilliant and fantastic? I sincerely hope so. It would have to be, for it to make the muck worth wading through.

What do you all think? Am I overreacting, or do you agree? Tweet me @TiP_Cam and let me know.